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Saturday August 18 2018

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In Full . . .

The aliens have landed!

Posted on July 30 2018 at 12:55:09

Right then: Mr Julian Cobbledick of Cofton Hackett (Village Views, July 2018) has a point with regard to “strange lights” in the Lickey Hills.

Actually, it’s us – we need bright lights to land a small shuttlecraft on top of the hills. Our mother ship, the Tavona, is in orbit. It’s too big to land here although we’ve set up a temporary space port at Stonehenge, where the Tavona can land.

We’ve collected artifacts and these are being loaded on to the shuttle for eventual transportation to Terrormagna, an Earth-type world which, with its big hot gas giant brother, Magna, orbits an F-Spectra Star 1,148 light years from Earth.

Our work is in its final stages and we begin the final phase soon, loading up the larger objects, cars and the like, for a museum.

We will depart via the “jump point” at one of Jupiter’s moons, Io, for the nine-month journey to Terrormagna and my hard-earned retirement.

I bet having been made aware of this, Mr Cobbledick will be even more curiouser and curiouser.

Right, back to my Solar Research, then to read this month’s Village Stargazing by amateur astronomer, Brian Watkiss.

Time to round up my crew, then we will be off (woosh)! Oh, by the way, having made a detailed study of human psychology and determined that most humans are pretty obnoxious, especially in the field of politics, we won’t be back around here again for about 200 years. I’ve had more than enough excitement already!

To sum up, might just as well tell the truth – who will believe it, Professor Brian Cox?

Right, you – you down there with the glasses – we’re off, no more bright lights except that big one in the daytime sky.

John A Ridarta, Cosmic Agent

The Editor writes: Well, it is the silly season, after all!


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